Okay, so, because I was added by David Letterman on Twitter (is he REALLY David Letterman?), I decided some time ago to list my top 10 things I hate about humans. I didn't make the list until tonight. Hey, I've been busy. I've had LOTS of sleep to catch up on since them holidays.
Speaking of the holidays, they were my inspiration for this list...well, sort of...kind of...in a matter of speaking...I guess...
Anyway, so enjoy. Or not. I don't care.
10. Humans who are cheap when they can easily afford it (turn up the stinkin' heat already!).
9. Humans who watch stupid movie marathons on TV.
8. Humans who engage in gift-giving to the tune of "Space Truckin'." Chill out, already, people.
7. Humans who give me acid reflux.
6. Humans obsessed with the smell of cat pee. Oh, I'm sure YOURS smells just divine!
5. Humans who won't let me sleep.
4. Humans prone to erratic outbursts while preparing a meal.
3. Humans who let their roads get so bad that I get banged around mercilessly on road trips.
2. Snot-nosed, human children who stick their hands where they shouldn't go.
1. Stupid humans. And that probably means you!
Ahh. I feel a bit better now. Boy, that wore me out. It's time I get started on sleep hour number 18 for the day...
Cheers, y'all.
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4 comments:
Hi Miles, this is Tubbs. I'm MsEllenT's favourite cat. My arch nemesis Buddy would be writing this but he's too dumb to work a keyboard.
We would both like to say we agree with your list, but you did leave out a very important thing about humans to hate: they have a thing for grooming. Grooming in itself isn't bad, but it is bad when they hire crazy people to come over, brush you within an inch of your life, hack off your claws with rusty clippers, rip the hair out around your butt and generally humiliate you.
Orrr, maybe you're lucky and have never had that experience. I'm still reliving the trauma.
Hey, Tubbs! So, for starters, for all my human-hatin', I'm way pro-feline. Admittedly, I'd be a little shy at first were I to meet you in person, getting a comment on my new blog from another cat makes my day!
No, I've not had the "honor" of all that "attention". I do get combed from time to time, but my combing never gets too far because I tend to treat the comb as a toy. Aren't all things meant for us to play with? I'm playing with a rubberband on my human's desk at this very moment while I dictate this response!
Sorry about your trouble. And most definitely, yes, that's somethin' to hate about humans!
Oh hai. I think hoomans are okay, I jus don't like it when they get to do read the newspaper first 'cause they has pinchy fingers and I jus has paws.
Yeah, hey, if it weren't for my humans, I'd be, well, dead. My female human is newer to me than my male one. In the very early days, I was on "death row" at the local shelter when my male human chose me. Actually, I chose him. I turned on the charm big time when he looked at me, rolling over on my back with my front legs stretched out and looking at him the whole time as if to say, "I'm everything you want in a cat." I am, at that. He took me home, and it's been great ever since!
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